Weight loss for simpletons – Hey it worked for me!

After settling into your first job, the old days seem so far away, your old clothes from High school & college don’t even fit anymore; you look in the mirror while buying a new pair of jeans and your reflection looks fat and old. Who doesn’t recognise this situation? I certainly do.

After I left school, it just took me two years of mindless living to gain around 15kgs. I was two sizes larger than before, and looked much older than just those two years could’ve done to me! Sitting down on a chair, with my arms crossed, all of a sudden there was an inbuilt arm rest there! Needless to say, it had to go, I wasn’t old yet and wasn’t ready to look old either!

Anyone who’s read other posts on this blog can probably tell, I love food! Preferably the rich, creamy, heavy type. I’m a sucker for junk food and sweets, and could replace any or all my meals with cake, should I have some available.

Because of this, I wasn’t ready to just go cold turkey and give up on all my beloved food either! So I devised a plan….

The 5 golden rules

Rule 1. – If I’m not hungry / too busy to remember, there’s no point in eating. I realise it’s not healthy and doesn’t suit everyone, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I made sure I had lots of work to do (at the time I was freelancing, and on the go half of the day). Make sure your fluids are topped up though; if it’s hot outside, or you’re feeling low/tired, have some fresh juice, water or low calorie drink to keep you going. Also, reduce your portions whenever you eat a meal. Eating less food in one go shrinks your stomach, making you feel full more quickly!

Rule 2. – Food = Food therefore = a meal. If you cannot resist the temptation and do buy that big chocolate bar, finishing it off within an hour, don’t fool yourself into thinking that “Oh, it’s just chocolate, so technically I haven’t had lunch yet!”. Hell, you wish! That chocolate has the same, or probably more calories as a meal would. So you HAVE had your lunch! Enjoy the fact that you could eat it without feeling guilty. And that euphoria is all you’re getting for hours to come. No seconds in this dieting plan!

Rule 3. – Exercise is very important. The only thing is, I hate exercise, just as I suspect many of you out there do too! So you find something you enjoy, and you do it LOTS. How convenient that when I needed to lose weight, I had just started a new relationship. And what you may ask was the exercise I enjoyed and could do lots of…? Yes, exactly. Have lots of sex! Then take a nap, you’re even allowed a snack, and do it again! And ladies, don’t just spread and lie there, get on top and do some work also, otherwise the whole point of it is missed. You can only burn calories if you get out of breath!

Rule 4. – Have fun. If you’re depressed, you’re more likely to eat crap. So you keep yourself entertained. Get a new videogame if need be to fill up alone time at home. Get a new hobby. Whatever it takes to keep your mind off food.

Rule 5. – Persistence. Don’t think that doing this for a week will get you anywhere. If you want a long lasting result, you will have to put in lot’s of time. Think months, maybe a year. For me, it took around a year to get back to how I wanted to be (around 15kgs less). If you do it right, the weight will stay off also, as long as you don’t go back to your nasty old habits of stuffing your face with candy right before dinner time every night… Good luck!

And that’s it!



  1. odzer Said:

    @ Hedonist : This is one of the best weight loss plans that I have ever come across basically I can do most of it easily except no. 3 but no worries I intend to fix that as well. He he he he. Oh and as someone who has lost some weight as well I must say that staying away from friends that eat out a lot can help as well :p

  2. hedonist666 Said:

    I must shamefully admit I’m not really following my own plan anymore 😉 That’s what happens when you work in an office and it’s hard to get through the long afternoon, especially if work load is less… But I’m getting back on track. If I’m snacking during the day, then that automatically means there shouldn’t be lunch as well…. And I know what you mean about no. 3. After a few years in the same relationship that gets more difficult to do 😉
    For eating out, perhaps it’s best to keep socialising with such friends limited to once a week or something. If you’ve been a good boy and eating smaller portions all week, when you do eat out, at least you will feel full sooner…

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